Our Children Don’t Want Us To Grow Up

Breakfast With Bubbie

 

Written by Robin “Bubbie” Montgomery
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Dear Bubbie,
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My wife and I are months away from retiring. We have been looking forward to retiring for years. We have dreamed about selling our house, buying an RV, and traveling the country. We have had long talks with our kids about it for years. They have even given us ideas of places to visit.
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Now that the time is finally here and our house is on the market, our kids are really upset about it. All we’re hearing now is anger, frustration and hurt feelings.
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“What about your grand-kids?”
“What about the holidays?”
“What if we want to visit?”
“What about us kids?”
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It’s really starting to upset my wife and I’m really getting a little angry about all of their attitudes. How do I tell our kids that they need to stop and that it is time for our children to allow us to finally live for ourselves and enjoy our lives? I don’t want to upset my kids but they are all adults with families of their own.
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Thank you for your help,
Retirement Road Trip Blues
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Dear Road Trip,
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Congratulations on your upcoming retirements! So many of us dream of that day. Now sell your house, pack your RV and get ready for the road trip of a lifetime! You have EARNED it!
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Your children are being a bit selfish, but understandably so. It forces them into a stage of life that they aren’t sure they are ready for….life without Mom and Dad AND your home as their anchor. BUT what your children fail to see is that they themselves have previously pushed you into stages of life that you maybe weren’t quite ready for as they were growing up…..such as when they took their first steps, their first day of going away to school, dealing with teenage angst, moving away to college, moving out of the house, getting married…etc. And just like their parents did before them, they’ll adapt.
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In this age of the internet, there are wonderful apps out there, like Skype or Google Hangouts, that allow you to talk face to face over the internet. Not to mention the apps right on your cell phone. So you can “see” each other and your grand-kids any time you want. You can even watch your grand-kids’ school plays, recitals, games and musicals on those same apps. You can even start your own blog so your kids and grand-kids can enjoy the journey with you and it will be a beautiful memory they will cherish forever.
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If your children want to visit, what a perfect way to plan their vacation! You can agree upon a place to meet and vacation together. Imagine the memories your grand-children will have. You can vacation with all of them at once, kind of like a family reunion. Or you can all meet them in different places at different times.
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As for the holidays, I’m pretty sure you’ll spend more holidays with family than you will away from them.
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It’s time you let your children know their continued negativity is hurting their mom and upsetting you. And quite frankly it’s taking away the joy you both deserve for all the excitement that awaits you on the road ahead. This is an exciting and scary time for you as well, so make sure you truly ready for such a huge change in your lives.
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Let them in on your excitement. Offer to have your sons go RV shopping with you. Have your wife ask your daughters help pick accessories and photos for the RV. (Grandparents can’t go anywhere without our family photos!) Insist on an entire family portrait so when you each look at the photo you’ll know the others are thinking of you. Remind them, in as gentle way as you see fit, YOU AREN’T DEAD! You’re just traveling.
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This is your time. You have earned it. Live your dream. Enjoy the scenic routes and always seek out the road less traveled.
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P.S. Make sure to send us all a picture or two of your travels together,
If you have any questions or would like a little advice please contact me at bubbie.rcns@gmail.com or on my Facebook page.
Bubbie1

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